" No other connection healed the hurt of that first abandonment, that first banishment from love`s paradise. For years I lived my life suspended, trapped by the past, unable to move onto the future. Like every wounded child I just wanted to turn back time and be in the paradise again, in that moment of remembered rapture where I felt loved, where I felt a sense of belonging.
We can never go back. I know that now. We can go forward. We can fid the love our hearts long for, but not until we let go grief about the love we lost long ago, when we were little and had no voice to speak the heart´s longing. All the years of my life I thought I was searching for love I found, retrospectively, to be years where I was simply trying to recover what had been lost, to return to the first home, to get back the rapture of first love. I was not really ready to love or be loved in the present. I was still mourning- clinging to the broken heart of girlhood, to broken connections. When that mourning ceased I was able to love again."
Bell Hooks- all about love, new visions
